What do you say...

I have yet to use this blog as a place to express my feelings or my emotions. It's only been an informative blog to keep family, friends and the CDH community up to date with the lives of our family. However, I've struggled a ton the past few nights...as I sit down to update our blog I am overwhelmed with the emotions that come after reading the blogs of other CDH families. I want to post pictures of Dakota and videos of Bodee, but I can't bring myself to do it. I am saddened by the amount of babies that continue to die from CDH. I am saddened to hear about more couples that find out that they too will be facing this roller coaster of a journey. After hearing of Baby Kaden's passing, I felt all the same emotions that Kellie posted on her blog. (Check out her post titled "Angry" ) I have a really hard time with all of this. We are part of this community and we too have had our little boy fighting for his life. However, we feel as though we cheated our way into it. 20 days? That's all we had to deal with this monster. Don't get me wrong...I am so grateful that Bodee kicked butt and fought so hard but I don't think I can truly say I understand what most of you have gone through...so sometimes I don't comment at all. We didn't have to worry for 20-something weeks of my pregnancy because Bodee was undiagnosed. We had no clue what was going on 5 months ago today...no idea what was to come...we didn't even know how serious CDH was until Bodee was in the clear. I'm frustrated! I'm sad! I'm ticked off! The past 4 babies that I have followed on my blog have all lost their battle with CDH...and if my math serves me correctly, that's not 50%. Way too many babies are being affected by CDH! Mark and I have been wishing there was something we could do to help make the world aware of CDH...so that someday that survival rate would go way up. Well, Kellie has helped out in this journey. We will be supporting her in the effort to get the word out about CDH. She has come up with an amazing idea to send turquoise envelopes to select groups / individuals with the hopes that the word will get out about this birth defect. I am tired of asking people if they've ever heard of CDH and hearing the response, "NO." She has set up a BLOG with all of the information. Please join us and check back for more information as more becomes available.

I apologize for the vent session. It's not like me but I have really been weighed down by all of this. My little CDH superhero is 5 months old today. It's hard to believe that we could have lost him on the night he was born...and we hope that we never forget how precious and amazing he truly is. Ever since we have been back from our trip to Utah and Texas, he has been sleeping horribly...waking up at random times throughout the night. However, I just snuggle with him and thank my Heavenly Father every day that he is still with us. My heart goes out to those of you that have lost your little ones and know that they will never be forgotten. Your strength has been an inspiration to me and my family!